The Piggies

I am growing to regret giving my Littles guinea pigs for Christmas. Yes, they love them, and yes, they are cute and their "weats" are adorable and they're fairly friendly. But y'all, they stink. They make so much waste and have such a strong smell... they can only go about 3 days before the entirety of upstairs starts smelling like rodent.

Now I did do my research and reading before I adopted these guys, and I am aware of the fact that the males have a stronger smell than the females. However I'm not talking about animal smell. I'm talking about how gross they get, and how fast it happens. (Also, in my defense, I couldn't find any female guinea pigs for sale when I wanted to make my secret purchase, so I went with the boys en lieu of forgoing the gift idea completely.)

My original plan was to have the kids care for these guys 100%- all the feeding, all the grooming, and all the cleanup. Unfortunately like so many other things that is not how it's turning out. Because we have the pigs stashed in the playroom (upstairs), it's a complicated process to clean out their cages in a timely manner without making the entire house a nasty mess in the process. My kids just haven't proven prudent enough to get this chore done without creating exponentially more mess spread everywhere. They do still help when it's cage-cleaning time of course, but I can't remove myself from the process completely, and so this has become my chore as well.

And then there's the issue of time. I hate it so hard, but it's our routine now- we're not home until after 5pm and sometimes 6pm four nights out of the week. On those nights we touch down, do dinner as efficiently as possible, do our homework check, rush to bath time and drying hair and brushing teeth and getting things ready for the following morning... and then it's basically bed time. There's just not a lot of time for them to hang with their creatures aside from poking a carrot stick in there in passing and talking to them when they walk through the room.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall that to say I've been floating the idea out to them here recently that maybe we should think about finding Charlie and Wilbur a home with a family that can give them more attention.

My suggestion has not been well-received.

Funny thing, though- every time I mention re-homing the piggies, this happens...

...and their interest lingers for a few days following the fear that my suggestion seems to bring.

So maybe at this point there's still hope? I dunno... all this cuteness doesn't make them smell any better, and I am getting kinda stuck on that.

It sure is cute, though.

Where You'll Find Me

We are almost halfway through December- one of the months in which I classically post almost every other day (and some years even more frequently than that)- and this year? This year I am writing my very first December post on the 13th. That's not to say that I haven't had anything noteworthy going on... what it really boils down to is that I haven't had the time or attention to spare for this space. It's a fact that's been looming like an elephant in the room for over six months- a fact I didn't want to face because I didn't want to let go of the idea of meditating on something, fleshing it out through my camera lens, and putting it down in well-thought-out and edited words. But today, on December 13th, I have to face it: I can't maintain this blog like I want to. Like I'm used to. Like it's always been. So for now, poetically at the conclusion of the year, I will conclude my efforts to maintain this blog and instead indulge in the less-demanding, more forgiving, and practically instantaneous real-time cyberspace of Instagram. Please pop in and find me there (@cleburneaggie), where I can so much more easily share our daily treasures and trials without the guilt that has come to haunt me with this blog. I will leave this blog up for posterity, though, and perhaps at a later date and under different circumstances I will revive it. Until then, though, we wish you happy holidays and a prosperous New Year!

Keeping It Real

Did anyone see this lovely little gem posted over the weekend on my Facebook account? Awww, look at that peaceful scene... doesn't life look peachy and downright perfect over here? Well lemme tell ya, we have our moments of perfection... but they're peppered here and there throughout the normal life stuff that everyone else has. Don't believe me? I think it's time for another Keeping It Real post.

Kids: My lovely Littles- who are always asking to help, who are willing to share with each other and who are sometimes even better than me at getting the dog to go out before there's an accident- have been so edgy lately. They yelled at each other this past weekend almost as much as they spoke in normal voices, and there were tears on more than one occasion. So what did this Mama do about it? I let them sit in front of a screen- for hours- both Saturday and Sunday. Sometimes digging in dirt does it, sometimes a craft or a project does it... and sometimes, to have a few minutes to hear myself think, Minecraft does it.

Dog: My lovely Suka- who is growing like a weed, has learned a myriad of commands, understands that she has to go to the front door and be let out to go potty, and will halt mid-chase after the cat on command- peed inside like seven times this weekend for no apparent reason. I think she noticed I was feeling a little too optimistic about her transitioning out of the puppy potty training phase and needed to put me in my place (which she felt apparently was down on the floor cleaning up spots here and there and everywhere).

Bees: During my most recent mid-winter hive check, I discovered that although two of my hives are doing great, my North Hive has something majorly wrong and is down to two frames of bees, at best. They weren't even the worst off when I discovered my varroa mite problem, but despite having plenty of stored food, they're really struggling. I'm hoping in the next week or so I'll be able to have a friend come out and treat all three hives with oxalic acid to give them a strong start to the spring... assuming there are still bees to treat in North Hive in another week or two.

Chicken Girls: I have been enjoying the ramping up of egg production as my girls have been reacting to the increasing daylight hours (we don't do the artificial light thing in our coop, mainly because there's no easy access to power out there). Some of my girls seem to have forgotten where their eggs go, it's been so long since they were regularly laying! I've found eggs on the floor of the hen house, on the ground under their feeder, and broken on the edge of their door out into their yard (maybe the egg was laid while a girl was perched there?). It's been like a little early Easter. Unfortunately, a few of them seem to have also forgotten that they need to stay in their yard, and yesterday two girls got out at some point in the evening. I went out right after sundown to close everything up (as I usually do, because they're all roosting by then and round up is a non-issue), and as I approached the coop I heard a coyote hauling them off into the woods. I was probably only five or ten minutes too late to save them. I know predation is something most chicken-keepers regularly have to deal with, but maaaaaaaaaaan... actually hearing it happen totally bummed me out. One of the ones nabbed was a favorite of my kiddos, too, and I am not looking forward to telling them she's gone.

Finally, I'd like to take this opportunity to mention that I also burn stuff (like the batch of low-carb chips I was making yesterday for the hubs), break stuff (like the entire jar of homemade beef stock I dropped on the kitchen floor the other day), and eat cake for lunch.

I also have it pretty darn good, but don't let that stuff fool you... I'm a regular parent and a regular person despite it all.

OK, whew, glad to get that all off my chest. I'm ready for more perfection, now, Universe.

Not All Rainbows and Butterflies

I woke up this morning feeling a strange sorrow I couldn't put my finger on. I'm not sure if I was having some kind of sad dream that was forgotten as I awoke or what, but as I got breakfasts and packed lunches, my thoughts began to rest on memories of my babies when they were tiny... and that feeling of sorrow evolved into regret.

Now, for some reason, the memories that my mind keeps chewing on are all the memories of frustration, angry words, and actions taken without much thought and directed towards my strong-willed Littles. I could easily take a few moments for each memory that pops up and justify, justify, justify... but instead I just find myself wondering if my kiddos will remember what I remember.

As a parent, I try so hard to maintain a balance of freedom and rules, of lightness and seriousness, of mistakes and correction. However I can't escape those days when I go to bed feeling like the entire day was spent fighting, struggling, and yelling. On those days my cruel memory makes it easy for me to look back into my early parenthood and taint all those memories with the same feeling.

I know I've got good intentions and everyone's best interests at heart, but am I missing a better way of going about it all? Is it possible that I'm creating darkness in their childhood that they'll look back on with regret, too?

So this morning I dove into the archives to remind myself of the happiness that has been with us, balancing the hard stuff and outweighing the struggles that everyone- everyone- feels at times.

My babies were happy, and they are happy. Not because I've made them happy, but because I've given them the tools to make themselves happy. The balance I work to achieve in our lives would not exist without a counterpoint of conflict. It can't be all rainbows and butterflies all the time. That's how psychos are made.

Today, I just needed to make that point to myself.

Keeping It Real, Again

Oh, autumn, how I love you. And oh, how everyone else loves you, too. What a beautiful season for spicy-scented candles, baking with cinnamon, an occasional fire when the evenings start to chill, and lots and lots of photos like these:

Looking around at Instagram, posts on Facebook, and all the lovely blogs I occasion, I can't help but feel like autumn is the season of perfection.

Right?

Um, no. At least not over in my neck of the (lovely-colored) woods.

As I did once before, I think I'm past due for another reality check. After all, it sure would be easy to get wrapped up in all the flashy colors of the season, and not be prepared for when they all blow away and you're left feeling naked and exposed.

So without further adieu, let's strip away the fall flash and have a look at what's really going on...

Pictured:
-A branch of oak reaching out over our driveway, mottled with color and captured after a romp through the woods with the kiddos (something they now ask for almost every day).
-Our firewood rack, stocked and ready to go up in a blaze of glory in our newly-cleaned-and-inspected fireplace. Also the home of a fairly large lizard that the kids, the dog, and the cat on occasion all enjoy chasing.
-A touch of pumpkin, pine cone, and firelight down the center of our table.

Not Pictured:
-The terrible sniffles that have had a grip on all four of us for over a week, and which have turned us all in to mouth-breathers. Also the main reason why no one is sleeping well, which has lead to very crabby days.
-The condition of my floors under and around the dining room table that so elegantly supports my little pumpkin and candle display. From where I'm sitting right now I can see sheet rock footprints from last weekend's light installation, dried shredded cheese, ramen noodles, a dehydrated pea, miscellaneous crumbs, and sand. Just from where I'm sitting.
-The ridiculous dual temper tantrum thrown just before lunch... over the fact that I closed the back door without giving either kiddo the chance to do it instead. Seriously.
-The pencil drawing on the bathroom door, door hinge, door frame, trim, and wall.
-The stress that goes hand-in-hand with the holidays of this beloved season and their logistics, diplomacy, and travel requirements.

I know that everyone can see the beauty that is everywhere this time of year... but not everyone is willing to look at the harder stuff that's in there too... stuff that everyone is dealing with. It is the best foot we put forward, the best of times we underline and emphasize. It doesn't mean the harder stuff isn't there. It just means that the color shines more brightly for the shadows all around.

Like I said in my last reality check: "Without the bitter, the sweet would not be noteworthy, and on that note, I head out to tackle the day... a day that will have both beauty and ugliness, but a day that I will choose to remember for the beauty of it all."

So yeah. Do that... and maybe this time around, have a glass of wine, too.

Keeping It Real

I've noticed something about the blogs I follow: almost every post from each one of them is depicting perfection. Familial bliss. Precise craft and project execution. Sibling harmony. Beautiful light.

I do it too, I know.

But let's be honest... no one's life is that good. Don't get me wrong, life is good... but we're all just human, and with a human existence comes strife, struggle, hurtles, clashes, stress, arguments, and heartache.

In this space, I choose mostly to capture and preserve the best of the best, because I want to remember the absolute best of times, even in the smallest of events and goings-on... and even in the midst of my fair share of tantrums and failures and frustration.

Also, how much fun would a blog be to read if every-other-post was detailing the woes of life? Um, bleh.

However, I do believe there is merit in keeping it real. One day it will be fun to revisit the archives in this space and reminisce about The Good Ol' Days, but for the sake of posterity, let's not forget what's going on behind the scenes...

Pictured:
-Fresh flowers from around the creek, where I picked wild bee balm and black-eye susans with my kiddos, and then later found the first blossoms of lavender in the garden.
-Clear morning air, the garden (which is actually doing a lot better this year than I would have guessed), and a moment of silence and still wherein baby bunnies were spotted along the fence line.
-Early light coming through the blinds in the aptly named Sunshine Room, cleared of toys as the kiddos had yet to descend and where, a few feet lower, the cat takes his morning nap.

Not Pictured:
-The screams of protest from a boy who simply will not accept the fact that he has to stay in his room until a reasonable rising hour when Mama comes and gets him.
-The speeding ticket beside my computer, waiting for my attention.
-The three page to-do list that consists mainly of phone calls and chores that are by no means beautiful, poetic, or blog-worthy, but must be done anyway.
-The large load of laundry waiting for it's turn in the washer, made larger by the 3am sheet change for Sister who is still struggling with nighttime accidents.
-The welts all over the family from the increasingly voracious chiggers, and the burden of realization that it may be the cat that's bringing them to us in the night, after his daily romps in the long grasses... now what to do about that?

Without the bitter, the sweet would not be noteworthy, and on that note, I head out to tackle the day... a day that will have both beauty and ugliness, but a day that I will choose to remember for the beauty of it all.