This Moment

Playing along with Amanda today... in her words: 

{this moment} - A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...

It's gray, it's sleety, and it's 29 degrees (and falling). The kids and I are digging in the deep closet underneath the stairs today, pulling out dusty boxes and bins. The first Christmas playlist has been played.

We're busy elving, hunkered down and staying warm. By the end of the day, we'll be on our way to a full embrace of the imminent holiday that's truly just around the corner.

By the time the dusk starts creeping in, you'll probably find us by the fire, with maybe some twinkling lights here and there, flipping through our ageless and much beloved seasonal books and perhaps sipping a mug of something hot and spiced (like maybe eggnog or wassail).

Wishing the same kind of comfort to all... Stay warm friends.

Our "New" Tradition

Remember when I rambled about starting new traditions? Well, I was actually going to include within that post a quip about our "new" tradition... then I realized if I made that post any longer, people might stop reading my blog.

SO here we are, a few days later, and me still thinking about the changes we've made over the years to our holiday customs. I suspect that we're not the only family that gets sucked up into the whirlwind of company, travel plans, shopping, and parties, and I also suspect we're not the only family that is left wishing for a softer landing when everything is all said and done.

That's kinda where our inspiration came from when we created the cap to the marathon that wraps up the night of the 25th. The hustle and bustle had become so busy and hectic that we'd end up back home on Christmas night feeling like the rug had been pulled out from under us.

Our solution? One more dinner, one more night. That's right. We added to the bustle. We extended the celebration. We brought it all home to our place, and invited it to stay just a little longer.

You know what? It's exactly what we needed.

Our holiday goes a little something like this: Christmas Eve-Eve we pack up and head down to my parents' place. We get cozy, we have a drink, we dig in to our stockings, and we chill. We wake up on Christmas Eve and tear in to the offerings around the tree, we have breakfast, we nap, and then we move on to phase two: the hubs' family's place. There we dress up and go to church to see the hubs' grandmother play in the bell choir, we come back to his grandmother's place for a late-ish dinner, and we ceremoniously hang our stockings. In the morning, with everyone under one roof, we have a second flurry of gift-giving and gift-demolishing. We eat biscuits and gravy. We lounge. Then in the afternoon we head home where we unpack our gear, our new prizes, and our usually very sleepy kiddos, and we nap. In the chill of early evening, phase three comes around: our immediate family migrates up to our place, and we have a themed Christmas dinner, a roaring fire in the fire place, way way too many desserts, and one last night together. One last big breakfast in the morning. One last slow start with pjs long into the afternoon. A ramping-down of the 3-day frenzy, together.

And you know what? It's not too much. It's just right.

Wait, did I say themed Christmas dinner? Oh, yeah, I sure did. Here's where it becomes painfully apparent that I'm a total nerd.

Christmas dinners at our place have been themed based on the Christmas celebrations of different cultures around the world  for going on five years now.

Don't judge, you know deep down that this sounds like fun, and you wanna play along. Here's what we've done so far:

2009: Old England "Victorian" Christmas

Menu

Consumme or Mushroom Soup

Christmas Goose

Onion and Sage Dressing

Roasted Root Veggies

Mina Mae's Gingerbread with Rum Sauce

Wassail

2010: Chinese
Menu

Udon Noodle Soup

Jasmine Rice 

Teriyaki-Glazed Pork Chops

Orange Sherbet

Saki

2011: Italian
Menu

Stuffed Mushrooms

Lentil Soup

Focaccia Bread

Ricotta Dumplings in Maranara

Homemade Fettuccine with

Shrimp Scampi or Alfredo

Raw Broccoli, Cauliflower, and Carrot Salad

Mulled Wine and Rum Punch with Orange

Cheesecake

Espresso

Panettone (saved for breakfast, made in to french toast)

2012: German
Menu

Pork Chops with Spaetzel
(Kraut Broca would have been good too)

 Warm Red-Skinned Potato Salad

Sour Kraut

Fresh Applesauce

Roasted Red and Golden Beets

Gingerbread with Whipped Cream

Beer

2013: Yet to be Determined!

Right about now you're either wondering how to make one of these menus happen for your next holiday gathering, or you're wondering if you should keep visiting me here in this space because clearly, I'm crazy. It's a lot of fun, though, I'm telling you! ...but it is a lot of work, and there may be a potluck in our near future to ease up on the cooking and the dishes. We'll see. 

There's no doubt about it, though- it's sinking in and becoming a part of what we look forward to all year. It's also helping us take another step away from focusing solely on buyingshoppingconsuming- after all, for me the most important thing about the holidays is not the gifts, it's the gift of the people around you and the time you get to spend with them.

48/52

A portrait of my kids every week for 52 weeks.

Henry sliding down the stairs in the morning.

Audrey sporting a fat lip from falling out of the bathtub, not wanting to smile.

Right Now: Before and After

Before (please excuse the light in almost all these photos, as they are pretty raw, wonkey, and glarey):

During...

After...

Well, that's one way to spend a weekend!

Right now, I'm sore, sleep-deprived, and sporting hair in a topknot that's still wet from my very late-night shower-then-fall-in-to-bed maneuver. My old nemesis, thinset/sheetrock dust, is visiting again and leaving evidence of it's presence throughout the entire house. There is a weekends' worth of dishes in the sink because the breakers have been off to all the outlets in the kitchen. There is a weeks' worth of laundry (plus towels, rags, and debris-covered work clothes) piled up around the washing machine. There are zero groceries to speak of in the house.

...aaaaaand there's a shiny new back splash in my kitchen. A fair trade, if you ask me. We still have to clean up the tile and then grout and seal it, but it's well on it's way, don't you think?

Shout-out to the in-laws, who busted their butts all weekend helping with this project. I just can't figure out why we're always so well-supplied with willing help when we take on projects that are dirty, labor-intensive, and require hours of standing (usually while being twisted into weird positions, with the risk of electrocution or worse), but wow am I glad for it!

Happy Monday!

On Starting New Traditions

One of my most pivotal memories when looking back at my transition between 'kid' and 'adult' is the moment when I realized what a hassle the holidays are to the grownups. That year a little of the magic disappeared in the logistics of the season, and every year afterward my eyes opened a little more to the planning and work that had to go in to the traditions that so defined my expectations of our holidays (not that the magic has been completely lost, I just have a completely new appreciation for it).

There were never any clearly defined bullet points for my holidays that had to be hit in order for them to feel 'right,' but there have always been inalienable qualities that carried through the years.

Mom humming in the kitchen, making large meals with meat and vegetarian entrees.

Vintage holiday cartoons (think Charlie Brown, The Grinch, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer).

Candle light.

The excitement of being the giver of a gift well thought out, sentimental, or handmade.

Handmade decorations.

Lots and lots of dishes, with dad helping out.

As time went by, the Logistics (yes, with a capital 'L') of the holidays grow more complicated; family moved away, the distance traveled became more difficult to navigate, families blended, traditions competed, and schedules conspired against 'The Usual.'

For me, Logistics started stealing away the intimacy of my holidays. It wasn't long after having kids that we started wondering: What parts of the bouncing here and there for our holidays would become 'tradition' for our kiddos... what would they look back on fondly? What moments would define their 'usual'? Would we find a rhythm that covered all our bases and left room for them to develop their own holiday must-haves? Or would Logistics end up eating up the magic and revealing the hassle prematurely?

Thankfully, our family was also feeling this strain, so the gradual shift to a new rhythm was willingly made by all. For several years now we've been following a slightly more relaxed, significantly more spread out holiday tradition that spans multiple nights and accommodates the most important traditions from multiple families... with a little compromise from everyone. We tweak it every year, but we're getting to the point where the hard stuff is smoothing out and the logistics mainly focus on who's making the pumpkin pie and how late we're going to let the kids stay up.

For those struggling with this very same logistical blending of strong traditions, I'd offer this humble advice:

1. Respect- and define- everyone's expectations. Some of them may not be realistic or respectful of other's expectations, but expectations are where everyone must begin- after all, you're proposing to redefine what will be expected during this already stressful and high-strung season.
2. Filter out the most sacred, beloved, or popular parts of existing traditions, and work from there. I'm willing to bet that most family holiday traditions revolve around a meal, perhaps a religious observance, and a gift exchange. Maybe you're trying to bring together two separate meals, two separate services, and two separate gift exchanges. So which of those three is the most important for each side coming together? Does one family absolutely have to have their holiday feast at noon on Christmas Day, while on the other side the priority is the midnight service on Christmas Eve? Has it been a tradition from day one for one side to all be under one roof on Christmas morning, no matter what, and the other side would be just as happy exchanging gifts in the afternoon or the night before? You get the idea.
3. Be open-minded and willing to think outside the box. Maybe it's not possible to seamlessly blend two families' Christmases into one day, or get everyone under one roof, or give every eager family host or hostess a chance at a big family meal at their table, but what if you expanded your celebration over multiple days? Moved celebratory locations every year? Do dinner potluck-style, in a nice restaurant, or skip it all together en lieu of that other activity everyone has been wanting to do (carol, view holiday lights, go see the Nutcracker ballet)? Maybe everyone has been wishing for something different, but going along with the status quo because they've assumed everyone else wants it that way!
4. Be willing to tweak things along the way. As I said earlier, even though we've come a long way from where we started, there are still things about each part of our holiday extravaganza that could be better, and we're always talking about it, tweaking it, and changing a little something every year. That may be what we do from now on, always striving to give ourselves more time to enjoy the moment and leave less time to be consumed by Logistics. The important thing is flexibility. Don't let your holidays become so rigid that they absolutely have to be a certain way or everyone feels let down.
5. Don't forget: there's always the option of starting something completely different. Although we seemingly came to a harmonious mingling of expectations, traditions, and schedules within our blended family, we still found room for the beginning of a new tradition- a tradition all our own, in our home, that can exist independent of any other family tradition. With the creation of a little something new, we rounded out the events that truly feel like a marathon and capped them off with something intimate, calm, and- hopefully- something that will be treasured by our children, come what may.

This process didn't happen overnight for us, and there were hurt feelings and guarded traditions and time spent unfairly here or there (see how we've evolved over the years: 2009, 2010, 2011, 2012), but every year we try to make it a little bit better for everyone. We're getting there, but it all started with communication, flexibility, and patience, and of course the willingness for all involved to contribute to the traditions that will eventually turn in to treasured memories for our kiddos and, in the process, ourselves.

30 Days of Gratitude

For the month of November, I have been snapping a photo of the everyday as an exercise in appreciating what is taken for granted. I drew inspiration from this post, and challenged anyone interested in doing the same to join me and link up here in this space at the end of the month.

Well, it's the 30th! What did you find and capture day to day this month? What did your lens bring focus to that you might have otherwise not given a second thought? Were you surprised by what you saw, what you captured?

I must admit, there were some days when I found it challenging to find something representative of the item of the day. There were other days where I found multiple opportunities to capture what I was looking for.

On the whole I did enjoy this challenge, and it may turn out to be a tradition worth repeating in another year... we'll see!

Anyho, without further adieu, I present my 30 Days of Gratitude:

1: Favorite Food

2: Smile

3: Happiness 

4: Leaves

5: Morning Light

6: Books

7: Something Funny

8: Favorite Color

9: Inspiring Person(s)

10: Nature

11: Something Old

12: Hands

13: Written Words (or Numbers)

14: Movement

15: Technology

16: Animals 

17: Memories (I cheated here and scanned an old photo of my little bro years ago at a Thanksgiving table)

18: Something New

19: Best Friend(s)

20: Seasonal

21: Where You Sleep (apparently not just me)

22: Clothing

23: In Your Closet

24: Gratitude

25: Artwork

26: Transportation

27: Daily Routine

28: Nighttime

29: Light

30: Self Portrait (as I am in the morning, before babies wake- and before makeup- when there's quiet enough for concentration, writing, focus)

So, what did you find yourself feeling grateful for this month?